Wednesday, October 02, 2013

Rejected by My Own Kitty.


UPDATE: Things are infinitely better with Yoshi, the cat. It wasn't too long after I wrote this post that Yoshi warmed-up to me and now we're best buds. It was only a month when I wrote this and I've since learned that it takes new kittens several months, at least, to fully feel comfortable with all members of the house. I've won him over with tuna and chicken, so now he purrs all the time and loves to play with me. Yeah!!! I'm SO excited and happy to report that our little family is doing just GREAT now!! And, everyone is happy. I can't imagine life without Yoshi, now. Please, disregard the rest of the post. When I wrote it, it was way too early to make such conclusions about how my relationship with Yoshi would be.

Sincerely,
Handsome B. Wonderful

Don't let his cuteness fool you! He's a snooty, spoiled, lil' brat...lol.

If you don't know--we adopted a cat. It's been a month and a half since we brought our new Balinese kitten home. He is now about 4 months old. At first, he was afraid and skittish of both my wife and me. However, now he's comfortable around us--well, not "us." He's comfortable around my wife. Ugh...as if my life hasn't been depressing--or hard enough, now we have a cat that finds me repellent in nearly every way--and it has broken my already dented and corroded heart.

The pathetically sad truth is that one of the big motivations behind getting this cat was to have a companion and friend for me while I'm home alone trying to managing my crushing depression and mental illness. Being disabled from schizoaffective disorder, I get lonely sometimes. I get overwhelmed hanging out with other humans but I have always been good with animals. Including cats, and so, I was looking for an animal friend that wouldn't be too hard to care for because of my limitations. A cat seemed ideal for my needs. We read all the "experts" books and have been preparing for years, actually!

But, that was all pretty pointless now because our lil boy, Yoshi thinks my wife is his "mommy" while I'm just some dude living with her that he has to tolerate. He makes an exception with play-time but only play from a distance with those fishing-pole toys you can fling like a bird through the air. If I try to pet him or even touch him, he quickly jumps away. I know he's just a cat but it still hurts. It never feels good to be rejected, regardless of who does the rejecting. This is all despite being the one who feeds him! Meals, and a special treat at 3pm.

And, you know, it kind of bothers me. My wife is gone all day, so I'm always available to cuddle and interact with him throughout the day. Yet, he doesn't approach me at all. Usually he just sleeps all day in the other room but not on the weekends. On the weekends he's "miraculously" no longer tired enough to sleep all day in the other room. He cuddles with my wife all day, instead. I don't exist. Except when it's mealtime.

Then, suddenly, he becomes my "best friend"; rubbing up against my legs and meowing. I'm essentially being "used" for food...lol. But, as soon as my wife walks through the door, Yoshi is all over her. He spends the entire night either laying on her, or laying next to her sleeping blissfully. He'll not only let her pet him and cuddle with him but he let's her clean the edges of his eyes of "eye boogers."

I am frustrated, sad and confused. I've cried several times over it, and I haven't cried over anything in years! I'm frankly embarrassed a bit at how much it's bothering me but I didn't expect to be rejected by a pet. Certainly not by one that I was hoping would be my friend during the day. Man, I suck at pets. I can't even succeed at finding a therapy animal! FML
-HBW-

4 comments:

KittySigurdardottir. said...

He is divine!Such an amazing beauty!I can see why you want to get your hands on him.I'm kitten obsessed myself,so I quite understand.

Anonymous said...

First let me say what a crappy comment the comment before me is..."hello, did you understand anything he said?" Second, I understand completely & couldn't believe you wrote what I feel. By the way, the answer to your dilemma is to get a dog. I know they're higher maintenance than a cat, but that's what makes them so ideal for you-that high maintenance also means dependent on you & will love you to death til you can't stand it....how about what I want?: A Chihuahua. You c ould even paper train or fake grass train him or her to go in your apartment, no outside walking required. tho when / if you feel up to it it's great for both of you-the walking. But if that isn't going to work, the papers. A Chihuahua will love you, as will prob any breed, but they are small. I had a Boston Terrier I dearly loved & before she died 2 years ago we ended up with 2 cats. I love cats, always have. But these 2 are now here 5 years & they "love" when they feel like it. The rest of the time they're standoffish & make me feel depressed sometimes because "even the cats don't want me." It truly is depressing when you're in the mental state you are, I am, to have this rejection. I'm home all the time, I'm Bipolar & Borderline Personality Disorder. It hurts me when my cats reject me. Honestly it's just cats being cats-that's how they are. But I've never had one of those special cats that treat me l ike the cat's meow, like yours treats your wife. What a bummer. It really is a crap shoot when you get a cat. Mine act like I'm going to do something to them when I'm walking....5 years after coming here! Then they'll be sweet with the leg weaving etc....I nevr know. I grieved over my dog dying & about a year ago wanted a Chihuahua or two...Husband balked so I didn't do it, also there's a part of me, exactly like you, that fears the work involved. Besides my mental problems there's the physical now with Arthritis & being overweight. I get scared imagining the work involved & getting up in the morning & not being with it to let an excited pup out....but I also think that once I do it & fall in love it could just help me. The responsibility might be good for me & also for the depression. Husband is a self-employed electrician & work has slowed down tremendously, a Chihuahua wouldn't cost much for upkeep once the purchase is made. I also think of 2 pups if you can believe that. Well I didn't mean to write a book but you were writing what I live so I had to respond. Dogs & cats are just so different, cats are known for that stand-offishnish, it has nothing to do with you. Dogs are the opposite, a dog, especially a Chihuahua I guarantee you, will LIVE to love you. A Chi will "protect" you , yes you, at home fiercely. Really, please look into the breed or any-but if you're turned off by Chis or little dogs I was too long ago-if you've encountered Chis showing teeth at you etc, it's because you arent' the owner. When you're the owner they do that to protect YOU. Oh boy, wish I could hear you're going to get a dog. The cat m ight even pay attention to you then when you're not trying to get him to show affecton. Anonymous Mary

KittySigurdardottir. said...

Obviously you Anon haven't got a clue what a Histrionic woman will say and do.That cat looks just like me, and I'm your thoroughbred typical kitten come alive.Isn't he truly such a vision of beauty in your eyes Johnny?

Anonymous said...

You need to quit skipping meds Kitty...I'm trying to support here, not play troll games with you.
anonymous Mary